Don't panic. DON'T. Now laugh at yourself for being silly. Yes, silly. Wait, I don't CARE if I'm being silly. I'm wandering around the rooms holding back tears. Now I'm laughing at myself. Now I'm incredibly sad. Why the gamut of emotions? (I had to google how to spell gamut. Google IS better than Yahoo, and anyone who says otherwise is a tard).
What the hell is wrong with me?
Two weeks. Two weeks to fill my days with important stuff of life. Two weeks to realize I can be a human being on my own. (No wait! I can't! I don't know how!)
But right now, the important thing is to get through the moment. And then the next moment. Take a deep, calming breathe. Put on some music...no don't stiffen into panic at certain songs. Just relax, you will be okay, YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT NOW BREATHE DAMN IT!!!!
huuuuuuu.....
The truth of the matter is, I'm scared and alone. Yes there are moments of clarity; moments of the sun brilliantly shining rays in my life...but more often fog, fog rolling in everywhere, obscuring the future and granting me unease and jitters and an underlying sense of panic in my world....
Am I just scared to death of EVERYTHING? Gee whiz, Melanie gets that from me. How horrid.
